When Summer Workouts Start to Feel Heavy
Preseason is supposed to feel exciting: new chances, new teams, fresh gear, fresh goals, etc.! But for many teen athletes around Raleigh, Cary, and Apex, the first open gym or summer workout brings something else too: a fast heartbeat, tight lungs, or a knot in the stomach that maybe wasn’t there last year.
Rosters are not set yet, coaches are watching every rep, and summer is already packed with team chats, workout plans, and “no days off” posts. Friends are comparing times and stats, parents are asking about tryouts, and it can feel like one bad day will follow you all season. What a lot of teens call “nerves,” “being off,” or “losing their edge” is often preseason anxiety. Noticing anxiety is a sign that they care about their sport and their place on the team, not a sign of weakness.
As therapists who support sport mental health in Raleigh, NC, and across the Triangle, we see how common this is, especially for high-achieving teen girls and boys. Naming it can be the first step toward easing it.
What Preseason Anxiety Really Looks Like
Preseason anxiety does not always look like panic. Often it shows up in the body first. Teens might notice:
- A tight chest or racing heart before workouts even start
- Stomachaches or nausea on practice or tryout days
- Trouble falling asleep because their brain won’t turn off
- Feeling drained, even when you haven’t hit your physical limit yet
On the mental side, it can sound like a constant, harsh inner play-by-play. Many athletes report repetitve thoughts such as, “If I mess up this drill, I’ll get cut,” or “Everyone else is faster than me now.” They replay old mistakes and imagine worst-case scenarios before they even leave the house.
There are social layers too. A teen might worry that if they don’t make varsity, they’ll lose their friend group. They may feel pressure to live up to an older sibling who was a star, or to match what parents say about college plans. Each practice can feel less like learning and more like an ongoing tryout for their identity and their relationships.
These experiences are very common among driven teens in competitive sports, especially those who are used to being top of the class or top of the lineup. When you’re used to excelling, even a small wobble can feel like a mistake instead of an opportunity for growth.
Why High-Achieving Teens Feel It So Intensely
For many high performers, perfectionism is quietly running the show. When coaches and adults praise “grit,” “grind,” and “mental toughness,” teens can start to believe that anything short of flawless is failure. Preseason, with its conditioning tests and evaluations, can then feel like a long exam where every rep is graded.
Identity plays a big part. If the identity of an athlete is a major part of how a teen sees themself, preseason pressure can feel like a threat to their whole self. It’s not just, “Will I make the team?” It becomes, “Who am I if I don’t?”
Around the Triangle, the sports schedule can add even more weight: off-season club, strength training, showcases, recruiting talks, and constant social media highlights. It can seem like everyone else is doing more, lifting more, running more, and getting more attention.
For teen girls, there are often extra layers: being expected to be “nice” and “coachable,” staying out of drama, managing body image in tight uniforms, hearing comments about their bodies, or “looking the part.” The message they pick up can be that their worth is tied to both performance and appearance, which turns up the volume on anxiety.
Gentle Ways Parents Can Help Without Adding Pressure
Parents often want to fix the worry fast. That makes sense, but quick reassurances like “You’ll be fine, just push through,” can accidentally shut down and invalidate what they’re doing is HARD! A small shift is to move from solving to curious listening. Questions like, “What’s been the hardest part of this week’s practices for you?” or “What part are you dreading the most?” invite real answers instead of one-word answers.
Simple language swaps can lower the pressure:
- From “Did you impress the coach?” to “Did you feel like yourself out there?”
- From “Did you win?” to “What felt good and what felt hard today?”
- From “You just need more confidence” to “It makes sense you feel nervous, this matters to you.”
Comments about bodies and stats can be especially tender in preseason. Focusing on effort, courage, and choices helps. Notice when they choose rest, when they advocate for themself, and when they stay kind to teammates during cuts. Statements meant as “motivation” like pointing out weight changes or comparing them to another athlete, can actually spike anxiety and shame.
Parents can also offer small, concrete supports: protecting sleep, helping with rides so they’re not sprinting between activities, making sure they have real meals and snacks, and giving clear permission to skip some optional extras when they feel stretched too thin. These choices, especially repeated over time, signal that their health comes first.
Helping Teens Build a Calmer Inner Huddle
Every athlete carries an “inner huddle” in their mind: snippets from coaches, parents, teammates, and their own self-talk. When preseason anxiety is high, that inner huddle often sounds like a crowd of critics. Part of sports mental health is helping teens change who gets the loudest mic in that huddle.
A few simple mental skills can help:
- A pre-practice ritual: one song on repeat, a short stretch sequence, or a grounding phrase like, “My job is to learn and give effort today.” This centers the athlete in their own body instead of in everyone else’s opinion.
- A “3-breath reset” between drills: in through the nose, long slow exhale through the mouth, three times. On each exhale, naming one cue, like “shoulders down” or “eyes up,” can interrupt spirals of self-criticism.
- A “good enough for preseason” standard: instead of chasing perfection, they might define success as showing up, trying the drill, and learning one small thing to carry into the next rep.
Support from a therapist who understands sport and performance can make it easier to practice these tools, especially for teens already juggling demanding classes, friendships, and big goals. Therapy can become a steady place to sort through pressure, identity, and anxiety so that their sport feels more like a choice and less like a test.
When It’s More Than Nerves and How This Season Can Help Them Grow
Sometimes, preseason anxiety settles as routines form. Other times, it hangs on or grows. Signs that it may be more than typical nerves include: dreading practice most days, ongoing trouble sleeping, changes in appetite, pulling back from friends, crying more often, or losing the spark they used to feel for their sport.
Body image and eating concerns can also spike during this time, especially with new training plans, talk about “cutting” or “leaning out,” or comments at weigh-ins. What begins as “discipline” can slip into rigid rules, skipped meals, or secret exercise. When these signs show up, it is not an overreaction to consider professional support. It’s a way to protect both the athlete and the human inside the uniform.
Preseason will always bring some nerves. But it can also be a built-in chance to practice new mental and emotional skills: kinder self-talk, clearer boundaries with time and energy, and more honest conversations at home. Even one small change, like shifting the way you talk after practices or giving extra care to sleep and meals, can make this stretch feel less like a cliff and more like a climb with steady footholds.
Strengthen Your Mental Game to Perform at Your Best
If you’re ready to train your mind with the same intention you bring to training your body, we’re here to help. At Bloom Psychology Group, our Sport Psychology Intensives focus on practical tools you can use in competition, practice, and daily life. Learn how our approach to sports mental health can support your goals as an athlete, performer, or high achiever. To schedule an appointment or ask questions about how we can fit your needs, please contact us.